


Oblivious

by strongjaw



Series: once on SR-1 [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Gen, Jealousy, Slow Burn, Unexpected Crush, not sure where i'm going with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 16:01:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8719957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strongjaw/pseuds/strongjaw
Summary: After the certain incident with replaced armor Shepard has the prime suspect of the prank.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to continue the story in Crime and Punishment style. Apparently, that didn't happen, so I made it as stand-alone. I'm not sure if there will be more, or what pairing is possible (because Shoker is obvious, but so is Kaidan/Joker, like why not). Proofread, but not betaed, so if you find something, do tell please.

After speaking with the crew and the Counsil, Shepard stood alone in the comm room;  _finally_. She breathed out. The Feros mess was annoying, but at least not useless. They had new leads to Saren and the Conduit.

Now there was some time to set course back to the Citadel, and talk to the... Right.

Talk to the crew. To the embarrassed Lieutenant, blushing every time she looked at him, and still amused Wrex, and slightly worried with human behaviour Liara, and pretty much everybody else who noticed that something definitely happened through the mission. And wasn't it humiliating to somehow confuse your armor with your crewmate's one.

Shepard felt no other desire but to crawl into her cabin and file the reports.

Unless...

Oh, she definitely had someone to talk to.

With quick firm step Shepard headed out to the bridge.

Joker briefly looked at her and, before she could say anything, spoke turning his head back to the controls: "Ah, hey Commander. Next time we touch down, let's try not to park the ship in a colony of mutant zombies. Just thinking out loud here."

Shepard's brow went upwards. "I believe we dealt with the situation. And that you locked the ship just in case anything happened, huh?" She crossed her arms, expectedly looking at her pilot.

"'Course I did," he scoffed. "But what if I wasn't sure you've not become like them, Commander? Flying away without the captain of the ship - that wouldn't look good in my record file."

"Oh, don't worry, I would still find you afterwards," Shepard smiled coldly.

Moreau let out exaggerated laugh. "Well, if I didn't know you I would joke about that, but you, Commander--" he paused and squinted his eyes with mocking smile, "You could chase me on the Mako - and win." Oh, that was low.

"Testing my patience, Flight Lieutenant?" Shepard put her arms tighter so she wouldn't do any harm. Joker's smile slightly faded, but he didn't stop the bravado:

"I would never! But you gotta admit, the crew is terrified with your driving for a reason. I can hear that every time you're on the ground." He motioned to the sensors on his panel.

Great, he brought it up himself. "Yeah, I guess you can't drive properly when your thoughts are somewhere else, huh, Joker? Say, when your armor is somehow _misplaced_."

Joker gulped. He wasn't looking up. "I, ah-- heard about that, too. Shame that happened, I hope it didn't interfere with the mission?" He sounded almost genuinely sympathetic with his sorry smile, but Shepard didn't buy this nonsense.

"Of course you heard about that." She stated dryly.

"What can I say, Wrex's laughing is quite audible." Joker mumbled.

"Yeah, and that's the only source you had?"

"I'm... not sure what you're talking about, Commander," the pilot tried to sound surprised and ignorant.

Shepard decided to press. "Listen, I'm asking once, and I wait for the straight answer. Mind you, I've talked to Williams already, so I expect the truth." She didn't talk to Ash yet, the gunnery chief would be harder to cooperate than Joker, she mused.

Indeed, he nervously touched his hat with his hand, still in silence, and sighed.

"Okay, so you know then she didn't know about that. I did, in fact, distract her from the lockers, so she wouldn't be involved at all. Just replaced the armor, big deal?" He looked up at her as in hope of forgiveness for the truth.

Shepard's brow furrowed. "And you expect me to believe you've done it alone?"

Joker scolded: "I'm not completely weak, you know," but looking at Shepard's flinch of anger he retreated, shrugging. "Alright, I messed up, okay? Alenko's and your skills are similar, and I was sure _you_ would notice."

He dared accuse her? Shepard stared in disbelief. The anger (on herself and the pilot) boosted her: "So now it's _my_ fault that you decided to set up your prank on my ship? Very smooth, Moreau. You almost sabotaged the mission, and Alenko still can't talk to me without blushing, which is becoming annoying." She kept her voice as low as she could, but every word was heavy as a jab.

"Look, Commander, I'm sorry..."

"And you should be." She hissed, interrupting him. "Honestly, I thought we were all professionals. What's about that 'I should be careful' and 'everybody on this ship is behind me', huh?"

Moreau was taken aback with his own words. "We are!" He started. "But you _should_ be careful, and don't get me wrong, I'm not accusing you or anything, but you did miss that the armor wasn't yours. As did Alenko. As did everyone else. And I get that they didn't care, and Alenko probably was too busy with his puppy-eyes, but..."

"What are you talking about?" Shepard couldn't help but interrupt him. She tried to keep it as quiet as she could, and Moreau kept attacking louder and louder. The crew started looking at them.

"You heard me," Joker deadpanned. "Every time you and Alenko are in the same room he stops breathing and looks at you." At Shepard's puzzled face he groaned: "God, Williams keeps mocking him about it, and you never noticed?"

Shepard felt uneasy. Sure, that explained a lot, and she noticed that sometimes Kaidan was a bit weird, but he followed orders without a question and was polite and... Well, that was awkward.

"Uh, Joker," she started. "I think there was misunderstanding." He opened his mouth to object, but she lifted her hand in silence. "I don't know Alenko's motives and why you are so interested in them, but I'll talk to him and explain that we're on duty and he needs to concentrate on that only."

"Oh. Alright," Moreau muttered as if realizing something.

"And you're right, I need to concentrate, too, because the shitstorm on Feros was just the start. But pranks? Really, Moreau? What is this, kindergarten?"

Joker let out strangled sound. "Well, I guess I got a little bit carried away."

"A little?" Shepard scoffed. That was ridiculous.

"Sorry, Commander." He murmured, much to her surprise. Suddenly it all went quiet, and only sounds of control panels of the cockpit filled the space between them.

Shepard looked at the pilot, deciding his fate. She hated to admit it, but he was right after all. And yeah, she was sloppy on this one, and the danger they faced only made it worse. After a pause she sighed. "Okay, now I won't get a fuss about it and about your part in this fraud."

Joker spinned in his chair to her. "But?" He asked. Good, he was ready to the consequenses.

"You never mock anybody on the ship like that."

The pilot pouted. "What, no mixing dextro-food with regular Alliance snacks?"

"Well, if you wanna infuriate Chakwas too, go ahead." Shepard shot back. Joker winced and lifted his hands in defeat. "And stop teasing Alenko, I bet he has a migraine by now."

"Sure he does," Joker muttered under his breath.

"Come again?"

"I mean, aye aye ma'am!"

Shepard narrowed her eyes. "Look, if you have any problems with him, solve them and stop involving anybody else, okay? I really have other issues on my neck right now. And everybody thinks I have plenty time for their little favours." The last part she stated mostly for herself.

Joker shook his head, smiling at her annoyance. "Nope, no problems at all. You've just cleared the air. And thanks for not telling anybody this conversation happened, Commander," he added cheerfully, getting back to his default mood and the helm.

Shepard just huffed, and muttering "Alright, I should go," went from the cockpit. Moreau sighed in relief when the sounds of her steps was far enough.

It was good that both Shepard and Alenko were oblivious in their own ways. What surprised Jeff is that his little stunt brought nothing but a sting of annoyance when the officers of the ship ended up in the situation he planned himself. It was supposed to be fun, but Joker almost hated Alenko for his blushing and sheepish smile and that look at Shepard. Well guess what, she didn't notice it all anyway!

"Except that she did by now, thanks to you, dumbass." Joker scolded at himself. Still, she didn't show any curiosity in lieutenant's actions, so it was probably a good thing?

Uh-huh.


End file.
